Thursday, February 5, 2009

Stimulus Bill

You should be happy to note the 400 450 700 800 900 billion dollar stimulus bill is progressing well. We have a bipartisan team going over the bill line-by-line.

Some feel that we shouldn't sacrifice our long term future by shoving ourselves further into debt. However, at this point we have a very legitimate economic crisis that must be addressed. America elected me to handle the economic crisis, and I intend to do exactly that.

I could attempt to get foreign leaders to enforce intellectual property laws, ensuring that US businesses profited fairly from their created works (such as music, movies, books, software, video games, etc) but that would make entirely too much sense.

I could give tax breaks to businesses, trying to encourage them to stay away from layoffs, and to give the stock market a much needed surge.

I could create a wage-tariff based on the federal minimum wage, taxing businesses who move jobs out of the country the difference in minimum wage they are saving, encouraging them to keep those jobs in the country.

I could open up more government jobs and directly employ the American public.

I could put cash directly in your hands.

Instead, we are pushing a major stimulus package that will largely hand hundreds of billions of dollars to corporations in a trickle-down-economics policy that Democrats have mocked for decades. Look, I understand this is an unpopular move, with polls showing most Americans are against it.

And I know that so far, we have mishandled these packages, allowing failed corporations to simply pocket large bonuses at tax payer expense, rewarding the executives who ran their companies into the ground. We allowed them to cash out stock at our expense. However, we admit these were mistakes.

We're going to place caps on what executives can make with this stimulus.

We will remove some pork from the package, which is better than nothing.
Hair Force One
And we will move some of the money to focus on building infrastructure, which arguably should have been our primary economic stimulus tactic from day one. By investing in infrastructure, we infuse money directly into the economy, not simply into CEO's pockets, but by purchasing goods and services from American businesses. And unlike hand-outs which won't be paid back, the country gains immediate and long-lasting benefit as that infrastructure helps the country grow and develop. We create jobs directly in the infrastructure projects (not necessarily as an expanding government, but in private contractors). And when I asked Panetta for advice, he said the only thing he's learned on the job so far running the CIA is that their IT guys just like saying infrastructure a lot.

Say it. Infrastructure. I think it is the new paradigm.

Who deserves the credit for this shift to infrastructure? Well, that would be Hair Force One, also known as Ben Nelson, the Republican-in-Democrat's clothing from the state of Nebraska. I thought all they had was a football team, and apparently not even that so much anymore. But Nebraska did break tradition (they were the single reddest state in the 2004 election) by giving one of their electoral votes to me. It hasn't been forgotten.

Is the stimulus bill perfect? Who knows. All I know is that Nelson is doing his best, and when he explains the virtue of it to me, all I can do is stare at that hair of his and agree.

Justice Ginsberg

Justice Ruth Ginsburg had surgery today to treat pancreatic cancer. As a loyal liberal judge on the Supreme Court, I want to thank her for her many years of service, not only to the country, but to liberal politics.

I am very grateful that this came up after the inauguration. If this surgery had been performed a few months ago, there might have been a push to replace her while Bush still had power to nominate a justice. Many feel that the seat must be filled by another woman, especially since Justice O'Connor retired. Then we'd have to waste time explaining to Bush we can't appoint that chick from Legally Blonde. She may be patriotic and spunky, but she is also fictional, like his supporters.

And though Ginsberg already fought cancer once successfully while serving in the SCOTUS in 1999, she is now 75 years old. I think the time has come for her to think of herself, and her health. I promise to fill her seat with someone else that will carry on her legacy of excellent service, liberal policies, respect for civil rights and devotion to country. By that I mean I will likely just recycle someone else from the Clinton administration.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The New Centrist

I just read Ann Althouse's post, about Dahlia Lithwick's comments about how I'm going to nominate judges. Commenting on other's comments about another's comments can be seen as needless chatter in the blogosphere and entirely too meta, however given that the whole discussion is about my policies, I figure I'd throw in some direct insight.

Lithwick seems to believe that liberal American wants a loud, vocal and visible liberal presence on the Supreme Court, and that given that I'm a moderate centrist, I will be unlikely to appoint one. First off, I'm not sure anyone in America is clamoring for loud Supreme Court justices, thought my Wikipedia vandalism of Roberts may give some that impression. Justices shouldn't legislate from the bench, nor should they have extremely visible political bias. Instead of trying to even out bias with opposing, or worse yet, majority bias, how about we try to look for objective judges who will do their best to preserve the spirit and sanctity of the Constitution instead of pushing partisan agenda?

I know, clearly a ridiculous proposition.

Althouse misses the point entirely and decides to focus on minutia and labels. She spins partisan bias ensisting that now all liberals are seen as moderates, and conservatives as extremes. When your conservatives are Sarah Palin, then perhaps people might get that impression. She also mocks the notion that I'm a moderate centrist, despite the fact I've reached across the aisle in nominating cabinet members.

This is what I really wanted to clarify.

I'm the center of the universe, and thusly a centrist. The new political model is no longer a representation of traditional social and financial extremes, and where you fall along those axis, but rather your distance from my perfect policies.

Apparently she didn't get the memo.

Gunning for Palin

Palin showing off her "guns"
I somewhat covered this ground the other day with Limbaugh, but I'm really not worried about this speculation of a Palin/Perry ticket in 2012. I think the United States just sent a very clear message in November. That message was not that we want a more conservative government. So if Palin is organizing a new website, and backing a guy who may not even have a job next year as her big political partner, I feel giddy about the 2012 election.

Am I even going to have to get out of bed for that election? I can easily hit the snooze button and let SNL handle that campaign for me.

But please, lets act like decent human beings here. I have no qualms with Palin photoshops, or SNL parodies, but I draw a line when people attempt to burn down her church.

At the same time I'm reading news articles about Jimmy Carter down in Birmingham, Alabama trying to reconcile racial differences in a church bombed by the Ku Klux Klan in 1963, I read how Palin's church is just now reopening because some idiots tried to burn it down.

Having recently watched The Patriot on BluRay, I can't but help think of the church burning scene (about five minutes into the embedded clip here). I know some of you disagree with Sarah Palin's politics. You don't like her fundamentalist ways. But I will never endorse anyone burning down a church, especially by people who feel they are supporting the Liberal cause.

Unless of course, we're talking about the Westboro Baptist Church. Then I might just have to look the other way.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I Keep Telling Them

Obama Even More Awesome Than Originally Thought

This Is How You Do It

Idiots like Blagojevich need to wise up and be more like Michael Phelps.

So I decided to set an example myself. Own up to your mistakes. Take credit. Then move forward.

When you attempt to duck something, it hangs over your head. People will come after you for it. But the moment you apologize and take responsibility, people really can't criticize you anymore. What is left to say? They want to point out you screwed up? Tell 'em, yes, I screwed up.

It silences your critics amazingly well.

As for my boy Phelps, he did absolutely nothing but eat, sleep and swim for 8 years. He didn't even have a girlfriend, just a pet dog. He made history and came through despite near-impossible expectations. He deserves a break, and a chance to celebrate. So at the ripe age of 23, as a new-found millionaire celebrity, he went to a party, someone handed him a bong, and he made like McConaughey and took a hit.

This isn't a guy who was caught buying the drugs to feed a steady habit. He volunteered for extra drug testing during his Olympics run. And unlike Billy-Boy, he didn't change his story, and then claim he never inhaled.

Despite his age, Phelps had the good sense to admit his mistake. I hope Washington takes notice.

A Man Amongst Men

Okay so Nancy Killefer didn't pay taxes. Neither did Timothy Geithner and I guess Tom Daschle forgot as well. Rod Blagojevich and Bill Richardson have little regard for the law either. So suddenly people are questioning who I'm spending time with, and who I have ties to. Say what you will about guys like Daschle and Blagojevich, but they're no Bill Ayers.
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